So, at the moment, the painting is going well, the drawing is going well, the sculpture is ready to get started as soon as it is cool enough out there and I have started the new sign, so why am I restless? Am I in a rut? I cannot cope with a routine: every day the same activities around the same times. At the moment, I get up, do all the morning stuff (wash, eat, etc) and then head to the studio, turn on the music, stare for a while and then paint. There may be a phone call. Then I have a meal and take a break for about an hour where I might work on a drawing while eating and watching a couple of newsy youtubes. After that, back to the studio for three to four hours, working on the current projects. Hunger strikes again so back inside for the next meal and a couple of hours break in front of TV, followed by a couple of hours drawing while on the phone or watching/listening to news on youtube. And the next day, it all starts all over again, in the same order. It sounds perfect. I have been trying to get myself to work like this for the past three years, getting extremely frustrated with myself and my lack of discipline. So what am I complaining about? Do I ignore the restlessness and continue in the groove/rut? I am enjoying the painting and the drawing, most of the time until that restlessness kicks in and I have to get out. Five minutes later, I'm back in again because, well, I was doing what I want to do. It sounds insane. What is the alternative?
Well, now that you mention it, there are a couple of alternatives. I could spread all the book research out all over my desk and get back into that; however, the thought of breaking the groove of painting/drawing is scary. It took me three years to get it to work, but I miss the book. Am I just being contrary or do I 'need' to write? I could spring clean the house, boy! does it need it! Although, to be fair, it has been awfully hot and spring cleaning is a great way to warm up so not ideal right now. I could get into making delicious meals - that would take a couple of hours every day. None of these really appeal to me, apart from the book.
Aha! I just found out what I am going to do: I am going to continue in the groove as it is now, and when I get that restless feeling perhaps I can do some yoga or stretching or dance until it passes. Then, when we tile the studio floor and all my stuff is scattered all over the place and temporarily out of use, I will get back into the book. We can work on the studio floor, walls and ceiling (in the new storage area) for a couple of hours a day and on the weekend, and the rest of the time, I can be writing. I draw in the house so I can continue with that, if I want to, although in the past I have not managed to produce art while I was writing. Well, I'm glad that is all sorted out; at least it is if the floor gets done during the same time-span as the storage area. If the floor is done at one time and then the storage is done later, then this will not work very well. The floor will take a short week and the storage space will likely take a couple of weeks. All together, that could be almost a month whereas divided, it'll be a nuisance of interruptions and useless timeouts. We shall see.
I wonder if anyone else has these ridiculous, frivolous 'struggles'. I am grateful that I have the opportunity, the drive, the space and the materials to paint, to draw and to write. The gratefulness supersedes by far the annoyance at the restlessness, but the latter still has to be dealt with. I think it is all part of the creative process. Once I am painting, and it is going well, nothing else exists and then a decision has to be made or I have to stare and consider and find the next move and so the restlessness might simply be a sort of 'flight' reaction. I need to turn it into a 'fight' reaction or manage my creativity better.
Well, I am glad all that is sorted out, at least in text.
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